While evaluating my life and where I'm headed, I realized that I over think things and I think too hard. It's not a bad thing and it comes in handy. I've decided to better myself in everything. Fun can wait until later. I have to focus on what my future is. Meanwhile-evaluating every aspect about me was well over due. I had to take a step outside myself to see whats really good. I don't hate to say it but the people I associated myself with was not a good look for me. I feel--when you are surrounded with positive energy, positive will happen. People have never influenced me to do anything that I didn't want to. That's stupid. I was never the type to feed off of "peer pressure". I just can't hang around people who live in the moment when there IS a future ahead of us all. It's hard to stay focused that way because they're talking about niggas and who they can pull while I'm talking about my future and where I want to be in less than five years. Its impossible for that type of person to be happy for you because they realize they aren't on the same path. Same book different page. You see me? Anyhow people fail to notice that I am Ms. Carmen Santiago in the flesh and I find out the truth about everything even if I get a slight migraine ironing out the situation. So for those people who I cut off or are starting not to pay attention to you. It's all because I found out you lied to me at one point over something extremely petty so that you can look cooler than you really are. No. ANNNNNNND I'm not sorry-and I don't accept your apology. I don't judge people but maybe you need to get some polish about yourself and step your game up. I'm on my way to making myself better woman. You can say whatever you want doesn't matter to me. I'm focused on something brand new.
BUT I will not forget where I came from so to the people that were there for me or around me and who really know me, you know you'll ALWAYS see my face. Oh yea, I also want to thank Mervyn for having this great convo with me yesterday--it seems as if we are on the same page! Love ya Merv!